


almost like grace

by darthjamtart



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 2, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-15
Updated: 2011-03-15
Packaged: 2017-10-16 23:50:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/170692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthjamtart/pseuds/darthjamtart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.</i></p><p>-Song of Solomon, 3:1</p>
            </blockquote>





	almost like grace

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EllieMurasaki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieMurasaki/gifts).



_in lectulo meo per noctes quaesivi quem diligit anima mea quaesivi illum et non inveni_

-Song of Solomon, 3:1

 

Sex is the best part of being human, but it’s still a disappointment. Anna’s first time is with a boy who thinks she’s weird and likes her anyway, or maybe because. She isn’t sure. His eyes are filled with awe when he looks at her, and she can’t help but think that it’s for all the wrong reasons.

So she tries again, over and over and over. She’s looking for something. She’s just not sure what.

There’s a girl at her third mental institution who keeps flicking sharp glances at her. Anna sits down across from her one day and stares at her until the girl meets her eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with you,” Anna says.

The girl’s chin juts out, defensive, and her hand comes up to tug at her shirt. The sleeves don’t cover her forearms, or the long, angry scar from elbow to wrist. “That’s not what my parents think.”

“They’re wrong,” Anna says.

“Why are you here?” the girl asks.

Anna shrugs, letting her hair fall forward. “I hear things.”

The girl nods, slow and understanding. “There’s a lot out there to hear. Hard to know what’s right, sometimes.”

They duck into corners and kiss in fleeting moments. There’s plenty of time but never any guarantee of privacy. Anna shakes around the girl’s fingers and breathes promises into her ear while returning the favor: yes, this is right, yes, you can love like this.

She’s still waiting for something, though.

Anna pulls Dean down into the backseat of the Impala and it’s everything she knew it would be and nothing like she expected. She takes her time – sure, they’re in the middle of the apocalypse, but what are they fighting for, if not this? Dean touches her with reverence and desire. As he should.

Six months ago he was in the ground. She knows he remembers.

The memory of death is with him, in the way he moves inside her. There are things he won’t take for granted anymore. She’s over him and around him, and all she can hear are the soft noises he makes, the way he gasps and clutches at her thigh, her waist. He kisses her and it’s like a prayer.

Sex is the best part of being human. But Anna is more than human, and she’s got a world of prayers to answer.


End file.
